Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When will dating stop being so hard for Gen Z?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do people say "tall, dark, and handsome" when they actually mean "tall, white, and handsome"?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why do I get stressed when I go to bed?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fakery

Which document should be pointed out to a holocaust denier?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

How do modern fantasy authors approach diversity differently than previous generations?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What are some tips for keeping a durag on for a longer period of time?

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can count

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday